How's your journey going?

Ohhh I got 7 views on October 24th. I'm coming up in the world!

Anyway, I didn't end up getting that part. They decided to "go in a different direction" which really has nothing to do with me, but I can't help but take it personally. I've just gotten so frustrated lately, and I have no idea what to do about it. I work hard, am prepared for auditions, take classes, and anything else I can imagine, so how does it come so easily to other people? But I just have to remind myself that you never know what their journey was like, and to never compare your beginning to someone else's middle.

Close, but no cigar

Ugh post-audition thoughts are the worst. First of all, they either liked you or you didn't, and I can't control that. The only thing I can control is how prepared I was and if I felt like I did a good job or not. The problem with that is my evaluation of how I did is obviously based on how they responded. So either they liked me or they didn't. So let's say I just got a "thank you" and I leave. In which case I feel like I bombed it. Then I go into the downward spiral of thinking that I suck at life and will never get anywhere. Poop. Or I just tell myself that it is what it is and move on. Obviously the healthier option. Now here's where I get a little crazy. What if I did a great job. The casting directors loved me, and I get a callback, and the producers loved me, and my agent gets an email saying how much everyone loved me. Yay! I'm on top of the world, right? For about five seconds after which I start banging my head against the wall waiting for the call saying that I booked it. Everyone loved me! Why haven't I gotten the call?!?! It's funny how being so close feels so much worse than completely missing the mark.

The grass is always greener

Sheesh I've been so busy for the past two days. Especially since I live kind of far from the city, when I do have a few things to do in LA, I'll stay out all day. I've learned not to waste time at the mall because I always end up buying something I don't really need. Now, I'm seriously looking forward to doing nothing tomorrow. But then I'll go crazy doing nothing. It's a vicious cycle...I guess the grass really is always greener on the other side.

Hello out there!

Ha, I'm not sure what compelled me to check on this blog. Especially since I haven't posted in a year. I was incredibly surprised to see that I've actually gotten 12 pageviews in the past month. Whoever you are that's visiting my blog, thanks but there's nothing interesting here. I was actually hoping that no one visited this site so I could air out some things going on in my life. Yes, I have a diary but there's something empowering about declaring my feelings out to the public.

So what's been going on with me? I'm an actress, living in Los Angeles. I also like to bake and go shopping, passions you can read about on my other blog, liveabovetheclouds.onsugar.com. Other than that, I'm just trying to figure out life like everyone else.